I bought a small devotional book, Jesus Calling by Sarah Young, for my friend, Carmela and she used it for a year and has now given it back to me to read because it is so good. A phrase that jumped off the page and into my conscience this morning is “a cleaned-up me.” Before I read the devotional I was praying about a particular situation. Clay left early this morning to travel to LaGrange, GA for a couple of days and one of his female co-workers asked if she could ride with him because she’s having shoulder issues. I asked him what she looked like (you know how we do, ladies, to put our minds at ease) and he gave me his typical, ding! ding! good answer! response, “She’s not as pretty as you.” So while praying this morning I said, “Lord, bless Clay and (I’ll call her Gertrude - that sounds old and grandma-ish) Gertrude’s 4-hour trip. Help them to have a good conversation and if Gertrude’s not a believer, open doors for Clay to share his faith” etc. Then I read the first paragraph of today’s devotional, a challenge to be real in your prayers. Don’t come into God’s presence with a “cleaned-up” me, all prim and proper, saying just the right thing. No, be real! So I closed the book and I started all over with my prayer. And I unloaded! Here’s what I had to say to the God Who already knew what I was thinking anyway.
Lord, I don’t like it one little bit that my husband is riding four hours in the car with another woman whom I’ve never met! I don’t know her, I don’t know her personality, I don’t know if she’s married or single, if she’s short or fat, if she’s pretty or cosmetically challenged, I don’t know anything about her. And I don’t like it that my husband is “okay” with being put in this situation. Lord, I trust Clay. It’s Satan that I don’t trust! He’d like nothing more than to cause problems in our marriage. So God, that’s the real me. That’s really how I’m feeling. To be quite honest, I ain’t happy! There, no more “cleaned-up” me!
Then I picked the devotional back up and was blown away by the last paragraph…
Open yourself fully to My transforming Presence. Let My brilliant Love-Light search out and destroy hidden fears. This process requires time alone with Me, as My Love soaks into your innermost being. Enjoy My perfect Love, which expels every trace of fear.
Wow! Mine and Clay’s love for each other is not perfect. We’re only human. But God’s love is perfect and His perfect love expels every trace of fear. I will not fear the situation that Clay has been placed in this week. A place that he didn’t volunteer for, a place that I cannot control. I will allow God’s perfect love for me, a love that reaches beyond any comprehension, to expel every trace of fear. What freedom when we come into His presence and allow His Love-Light to search out and destroy hidden fears! I was determined when Clay left home at 6am this morning not to say a word to him about the situation. I had no plans of bringing it up to anyone. But hidden in my heart was a fear for my marriage, a fear of the “what ifs.” However, because I chose to spend time with God and bring before Him the real me, not a “cleaned-up” me, His Word transformed my fears into songs of praise.
Be real with the Lord today. We might as well - after all, He created us and knows our inner most being. He’s not at all fooled by a “cleaned-up” me.
“O LORD, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD…Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts” (Psalm 139:1-4, 23).
“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love” (1 John 4:18).
A “cleaned-up” me may sound and even look prettier, but the raw me is what God sees. Here’s a picture of me from the beach a couple of weeks ago. No make-up, didn’t dry my hair and spend 30 minutes pulling it straight, no jewelry, just plain ole natural curly me enjoying one of the best burgers in the world from River City Cafe. Have a great day!
Hope